Think of a business in your town that you love. A restaurant, a general store, anything. You go online and type in their name. You find their website, Facebook page, or whatever online presence they may have.
Yes, you think to yourself. Finally, I can find out more about this business I love.
However, you soon realize that the website is poorly done. It’s not kept up to date, and the design could be greatly improved. Their poor online presence is hurting their business.
Or maybe their website is great, and you find everything you need. Well, everything except the answer to that one question you can’t get out of
You could leave disappointed, or you could count your lucky
In order to provide value to this company, you’ll need to send an email. It needs to be polite, complimentary, and brief. You don’t want to waste their time.
It should look something like this:
To whom it may concern, (You’ll want to put their personal name here, it makes your email look more genuine and less spammy.)
My name is Samantha Clarkson, and I’ve spent several wonderful afternoons with my family at your mini golf course (mention the name of their actual business). The one and only time I ever got a hole in one was at your establishment (include a very short personal story like this, or complement them. This paragraph is where you talk up how much you love thier business).
Recently I wrote a blog post outlining how one could spend their time in your town. It included mini golf. I visited your website to provide the link in my post. While your site is well done with lots of information, I had some ideas on how it could be improved. (Provide context for what led to you noticing their site)
Include vibrant pictures.
I’d be more than happy to make these adjustments myself, free of charge. If you’re unsure, I could create a mock-up of what these would look like and you can decide risk-free. (They probably don’t know you, so they would be taking a risk if they just handed over their passwords and let you have your way. Offer to do it for free.)
Eye-catching photos are crucial to any website. People are attracted to bright colors and high-quality photos look more modern and enticing. You have some great photos under some of your pages, and while they are a little dated, I think it would be a good move to include some of them on the home page in a slide-show format. Directly beneath the slide-show could be a link to a gallery with even more photos, both yours and customers. (Explain why they need this and how it would look)
You don’t need to hire a professional photographer to take fresh pictures. Photos can be taken on an iPhone and easily edited to make them pop. There are plenty of websites that offer free stock photos. The stock photos can be used as “placeholders” until you’re able to replace them with photos of your establishment. (Explain how it could be done, and make it as easy as possible for them in case they decide to follow your advice but don’t want you to do it for them.)
Push your Facebook page.
Your establishment is the exact kind that would thrive on Facebook. You have a page, but there is no link to it on your website. Having an entire section on your homepage dedicated to encouraging your visitors to post their photos to it or tagging your page in them would mean free publicity and marketing. (Again, explain why they would need this and how it might look. Since they already have the page, you probably don’t need to spell out
Choose a different company to run your website through.
I understand you might be attached to your current hosting site. After browsing their site a bit, I saw some of the benefits. However, there are so many other host sites to choose from with lower prices and designs that appeal to the tourist. I use WordPress, but Wix, Squarespace, and Weebly are all excellent options. (Be polite and make sure you’re offering good reasoning behind your suggestions.)
Unless you’re already getting significant traffic to your current site and changing would be damaging and confusing for your customers, I would consider changing.
If you’re wondering what I know about this, I understand. Here is my personal website, where I am building my personal brand and reputation. (Include links to any relevant projects you’ve completed. Show them why they should trust you and what you are capable of. Provide real-world accomplishments, not degrees or education.)
If you have any questions about my suggestions or are interested in seeing how these would look, don’t hesitate to shoot me an email. (Invite questions and include a call of action.)
All the best,
Samantha Clarkson
This email was based off a value proposal I wrote for a real website, and edited to become more generic for this post. That is why there are specifics and the more unusual demand of changing the hosting site.
I cannot stress the importance of being polite enough. Yes, you may be offering value, but you are also subtly insulting their work by suggesting it could be improved.
Give specific ways you could improve their site, and explain why your changes would be helpful.
Do not bore the receiver with unnecessary padding or flowery language. Respect their time by taking up as little of it as possible.
Doing this not only provides value to the person you’re emailing, it also provides value to you by making you a more accomplished worker.