Today I’m going to write copy for a mock business using the formula pulled from yesterday’s post.
If you don’t have time to read the whole post or just need a refresher, here is the formula:
Unique and intriguing opening line- Make an offer that’s irresistible
- A “Let me tell you my story” line
- Introduce a problem you didn’t even know was there
- “This is why my product is the answer”
- Introduce the team
- Proof this product is the answer
- Make a bold statement
- Paint a picture of what their lives will look like if they use this product
- A “contact me” or “learn more” button.
Since we’re doing a different business with a different format, we might not hit all of these, and we might hit some that aren’t on the list. They will also not necessarily be in the same order.
Let’s jump right in, shall we?
The Most Electrifying Laser Tag Experience You’ll Ever Have… Or Your Money Back
“I was apprehensive at first, but now I come here with my buddies all the time.” — John Smith, a regular at Laser Colosseum.
Who ever said laser tag was for kids?
Laser Colosseum is the largest, most intricate, most stimulating laser tag arena of its kind. Built with five themed rooms and packed full of challenges, we promise you’ll never be bored.
Though we focus on creating a unique and invigorating environment for those ages fifteen and older, we offer a ball pit and arcade with full-time chaperones for those with kids.
We make it our mission at Laser Colosseum to provide clean and safe conditions as well as electrifying arenas and entertainment that will make you come back time and time again.
We guarantee a good time, or your money back.
BUY TICKETS/MAKE A RESERVATION
BECOME A MEMBER
View The Arenas
Customer Reviews
Guidlines and Rules
The last lines of bolded text would be links to different pages, where there would be more in-depth information.
As suspected, we didn’t hit the entire formula in-depth completely, but we touched on almost everything.
The opening line was intriguing and offered an irresistible offer (money back guarantee). We hinted at a bit of a story, though we didn’t explore that too much beyond the product itself. We introduced a problem, that laser tag is mostly aimed at kids, and offered our product as the solution. We used a customer testimonial as proof that our product is good, and painted a picture of what it’s like at the Laser Colosseum. Then we provided numerous links to more information.
I’m pretty happy with this as a first attempt. There are plenty of places for improvement, and to
I definitely enjoyed this exercise and it helped solidify and validate my choice to go into marketing.